Saturday, October 17, 2009

Greg w/Gary Gulman, Joe DeRosa, Matt Goldich, Gabe Liedman & CJ Tolenado. TOMORROW! Sun 10/18. 7:30. Pianos in NYC. Be There.

Come have a great time at the show.

These are WORLD CLASS guests. Do not miss this show.

7:30. Sundays.

Google Pianos and BE THERE.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Reminder: Pianos Show is FREE Tomorrow (10/11/09) in NY! With Hari Leigh, Mike Dobbins, Joe Mande and more! 7:30! BE THERE!

VERY funny show Sunday show at Pianos tomorrow (Sunday 10/11).  BE THERE!!!

Greg Johnson & the Comedians 
Every Sunday Night
Tomorrow Night
7:30 open
Pianos 
158 Ludlow St./Stanton St. (below 1st and 1st)
New York, NY 10001
Our Annual UPSTAIRS show (upstairs at Pianos)

THIS SHOW IS FREE TOMORROW! 

COME HANG!!!

I hope all is well with you.

All the best,
Greg Johnson

Pianos
Lower East Side
F, V to 2nd Ave
J, M, Z to Essex St.
Every single Sunday 7:30

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Sunday 9/27/09 - Greg Johnson, Anthony Jeselnik, Hannibal Buress, Jesse Popp, Dobbins & more! Pianos in NYC! 7:30! BE THERE!!!!

Helloooooo!!!!!?



How are you? There are still so many of you on here! Thank you so much for following this magical "dots" palace!

Good news!

I have a new website!!!

Do you want to hear about it? I think you're really gonna like it! I will tell you all about it. Again, thank you very much for following me.

How was your Summer? This basically sums up mine.



My Summer was lot like Sylvester Stallone.

How was your's?!

I love you,
Greg Johnson

Follow me on twitter?

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Get After It- It's News for Youze!

Hi!

Thank you for reading this website. I wanted to share a few things with you.

1) I will be at Go Bananas in Cincinnati, OH with Mike Birbiglia this weekend (June 25th-June 27th). Does anyone have a good Meth connection there?

2) If you are in New York City, you can see me & The Comedians every single Sunday at 7:30PM at Pianos (158 Ludlow Street/Stanton Street - Lower East Side). Get there! Sort it.

3) I am a part of the funniest comedians in America feature in The Comedy Issue of Death and Taxes Magazine. Pretty down to Earth.

Death and Taxes - 10 Funniest Comedians in America

4) Follow me on twitter! twitter/thegregjohnson

5) I will be at Mottleys Comedy Club in Boston, MA for a great show on Thursday July 30th. You can get tickets here:

Tickets for Boston in July!

and 6) I just may have a new website coming soon. It's gonna punch Perez Hilton in the face.

I hope you're doing just fine...

--Greg Johnson

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Facebook Status-Off and Bojanjo.com

Check out this new video by Untucked Films I'm in for a second. The cast is hysterical.

Facebook Status Off



bojanjo.com

Monday, June 01, 2009

Happy June

Jim Gaffigan stopped by The Comedians at Pianos last night!

Join us this Sunday night at Pianos and all Summer long for The Comedians at 7:30. Spread the word. Do not miss the show this Sunday.

Rabbit, rabbit...

Greg Johnson

Friday, May 29, 2009

Greg w/Marc Maron and More - This Thursday 9PM 92Y in Tribeca!

Don't forget!

I'll be at The 92Y in Tribeca New York this Thursday night with Marc Maron (Conan, Letterman, Air America Radio)!



Get your tickets now!



Greg

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Greg Johnson Online! Greg Live at Pianos Every Sunday Night at 7:30 in New York City!

Greg Johnson is a comedian, writer and actor based in New York City.

You can see Greg every single Sunday night at 7:30 at Pianos in New York City. Pianos is 158 Ludlow Street at Stanton Street on Manhattan's Lower East Side.





Email here to book Greg.

You have found Greg's blog from 2004 — present. Please scroll through to read on and check out the archives.

Please check out Greg Johnson other places on the internet!

Greg Johnson on Twitter
Greg Johnson on Facebook

Greg Johnson on Myspace
Greg Johnson Blog on Myspace

Interview with Greg Johnson

Goodnight and good luck!

gregjohnsononline.blogspot.com

Monday, May 11, 2009

Ad Nauseum #2 at The Upright Citizens Brigade in NY This Saturday Night!

Hi,

I am happy to announce Sam Brown (The Whitest Kids U Know) and I are doing Ad Nauseum #2 this Saturday night at The UCB in New York City! Showtime is 11:59PM!



This show is very funny. Ad Nauseum is a talk show hosted by Sam and I that features some special guests from national TV commercials. We will also rip all of today's "hot" ads! But don't trust my boring pitch. Come see it for yourself! Our first show was a riot act.

Make a reservation here!

You can also check me out at the release party for the new Death & Taxes Magazine (below) and THIS SUNDAY AND EVERY SUNDAY at 7:30 at Pianos in NYC. Don't miss these shows!



Thanks a lot for coming to the shows.

All the best,
Greg

Friday, May 08, 2009

One for the Road: The Air Force One NYC Flyover Photos

HAHAHAHA!



People saw that and they were like -



"WE GOTTA GET THE FUCK OUTTA DODGE!"

Here are the photos of Air Force One flying low over Manhattan last week. The low flying plane sent the city into a panic, giving many people memories of 9/11.



HAHAHAHA!

The Government should have just greenscreened that!

THAT LOOKS LIKE GOOGLE EARTH!!!

Flyover That Scared the City...

Get this...

The report from The White House is saying the photo-op may have cost up to $329,000.

NO EFFING WAY!!!

Shoot me in the face!!!

THAT MONEY WAS WASTED! THEY SHOULD HAVE GIVEN IT TO ME AND YOU!

WE WOULD HAVE OWNED!!!



This is bullsh*t!

This totally sucks!

We got hosed out of that cash!

That number sounds fishy though, doesn't it? $329,000? Even???



FAKE!

I heard Dave LaChappelle was the photographer for the shoot. He was probably all "I'm Rick James bitch!"

Right???

You would probably have to scroll for 200 hours straight (just scrolling) to get to the end of my blog. Are you gonna take food and water breaks?



I love it.

Don't be afraid of nothing. Planes fly way lower than that over my ghetto in Brooklyn every single day. And I have yet to see one hit a building.

All the best- now and forever.

Love,
Greg Johnson

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

More of the Greatest (?) Youtube Videos of All Time

Guido Beach is amazing!

Some of the language may not be suitable for work- unless you work at a tanning salon on The Jersey Shore or something (which a lot of you do!)—



Thank you.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

TJ Miller and Perez Hilton - Together at Last!

Finally!

Comedian TJ Miller was on Perez Hilton's website today for his hilarious pose in a mugshot he did up over the weekend.



Totally classic!

The police in Bloomington, Indiana claim TJ -who is a comic and friend of Greg Johnson Online- was driving under the influence and arrested him last night. But, they're Cops, not Doctors! Who are they to say??? He looks sober in the photo!!!

This is more social injustice! Brought to us by Perez Hilton!

We should have a benefit at Largo!

Perez Hilton: TJ Miller - Mugshot Hall of Fame

I can really see why Perez Hilton is so influential. It's because he's reporting on important stories- like TJ Miller in Bloomington, Indiana.

In all seriousness, isn't it time mega-celebrities like Todd J. Miller (above) go ahead and use their billions of dollars to get them drivers from state to state? He's like one of the richest celebrities in the world- WHERE WAS HIS DRIVER?!?

THIS HAPPENS ALL THE TIME!

MEGA-SUPERSTARS CAN BE SO SELFISH!!!

BUY DRIVER SLAVES!!!



Thanks, Perez Hilton!

Breaking news- this just in: TJ is getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame!!!





Nice! TJ! You're The Man! CALL ME!!!

Wait a second...



This just in- TJ Miller is being inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame!!!

Yesss! TJ! YOU THE MAN!!!





Previously - TJ Miller Visits Greg Johnson & The Comedians Sundays in New York

Paula Ab-DUH!

Paula Abdul is saying she's done drugs!??

GTFO!!!!!!!!



This is f*cking NEWS TO ME!

We better buy her new album!!!

Pain Pill Paula Ready to Sing Again

This is a shocker!

Next you're gonna tell me Madonna's not a virgin!



Paula looks like The Designated Driver there!



HOTTT!



Nice!

I made that video (above). It only took me 14 hours. That's time well spent!

Monday, May 04, 2009

Best of Greg Johnson Online - Click These Links and Scroll Through the Archives for Much More!

Thanks for coming to the website. You can now follow me on twitter.com!

CHILL!!!

Greg in This Month's Death & Taxes Magazine

Maryland's Women's Basketball Team Eats Kids?

The Latest on the Cindy Crawford/Bill Cosby Romance

Wayne's World in Hoogie Boogie Land

Get Literal with The Beatles

"Seriously- What Is Up With The Haters?"

Passedoutwookies.com

The Official Wrestlemania 25 Recap

Previously:

Mother's I'd Never...

Chappelle: Too Much Stand-Up?

Robots Will Kill Us All

The One We Were Told About Ashton Kutcher

Andy Pettitte and A-Rod/ Sitting in a Tree/ K-I-L-L Space M-E!

Spitzer's Prostitute is All Spaced Out!

The Incredible Crap

MTV Real World in Las Vegas

Perez Hilton is The Worst

Sigfried and Roy Return

Thank God It's Monday!

Big Ups! Gatorade!

Scroll down through the last few weeks for more incredible crap from the Internet. You can do whatever you like.

Stand Up Apartment 2!

Here is episode 2 of Stand-Up Apartment with me and Kenny Zimlinghaus playing two stand-up comedians in NYC. Episode 1 was featured on comedycentral.com (CCInsider)! THAT WEBSITE REALLY KNOWS THEY SH*T!



LOLZ

When you're a part of a video that looks like it was shot on a cell phone and it includes a Dom Irrera reference, you know you're appealing to a very small percentage of the population. It's like 6 people.

Stand Up Apartment on Youtube

Gift of the Magi

This may be my favorite song of all time.

The clip is six minutes. Please promise me you'll do it justice by watching all of it 5 times. This isn't an amateur club. Watch it all five times. At least. For example, I've watched it 15.



You're welcome.

Thank God it's Monday!

Friday, May 01, 2009

May Day - The Comedians This Sunday at Pianos at 7:30PM! With Jesse Popp, Sean Patton, Tom McCaffrey, myself and More!

Come check out the show at Pianos (158 Ludlow/Stanton St.) Sunday night at 7:30!

Come see this show: our guests are 3 of the best comics in the COUNTRY!

This show will be funny as a mo.

Spread the word, man...

Greg Johnson
Jacqueline Novak
The Comedians
Sundays at Pianos
7:30PM

This Sunday (5/3)!

JESSE POPP (Comedy Central)



SEAN PATTON (Montreal Comedy Festival)



and TOM MCCAFFREY (Comedy Central, Debut CD)



Pianos
158 Ludlow St. @ Stanton
New York, NY
F V 2nd Ave - JMZ to Essex
pianosnyc.com
sundaysatpianos.tumblr.com
21+ $5
$3 Maragitas until 7!
$5 Food Menue until 10!


Do not miss this show Sunday night on The Lower East Side.

Give a big ups to your boy Danny Gans!













His shoes are sick.

Big ups to Danny Gans. You will be remembered forever.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Greg on IFC's The Whitest Kids U Know!!!

Hi,

I made my third appearance on IFC's TV show The Whitest Kids U Know during their current 3rd season. The clip from the show is below and I'm in it around 1:50. The third season is now airing Tuesdays at 10 on IFC.



Wow. That's really great.

Someone else wrote the title for this post. I would never refer to myself in the third person. Greg Johnson just doesn't do that.

That last line was another person, too!

Love,
Greg Johnson (signatures are fair game)

Independent Film Channel - WKUK Season 3 - President Reagan

Kirstie Alley Looks Amazing!

Whoa!

Kirstie Alley looks INCREDIBLE!



Will you go out with me?!?!

Thanks, Perez Hilton.

A girl I know was at an Easter Sunday brunch at the Scientology building in LA 2 weeks ago. I'm unsure why the Scientology building would have an Easter Sunday brunch. But that's not important. What is important is that Kirstie Alley was also a guest. And the girl said there were Cadbury Eggs and Peeps on the walls as decorations, and Kirstie Alley was picking them off the wall, talking to them, and devouring them the entire party.

When I heard that, I was like "chill!"

That's what I would be doing, too! KIRSTIE ALLEY IS SO HOTTT!!!

She's a real MILF! AND THE F IS FOR FEED!!!



Ahhhh! Porno! Now we're all fired from work!

Kirstie's just getting after it is all. At my next party, I'm gonna decorate the walls with Big Mo's.



That's gonna be pretty good.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Ferris Bueller's Look's On!

Matthew Broderick looks FAAAAANTASTIC!



Chill burns, Mr. Van Buren!

They must smell great, too...because SJP is GOING TO TOWN!

This just in!



These two announced yesterday they are having babies with a surrogate Mother! Congratulations!

I wonder who the hired babymaker is!



Octomom? She's probably too trashy.



The slutty one? She's probably too old.



David Crosby? He's probably too perfect.

I'm really hoping it's David Crosby.

E! SJP and Matthew Broderick Expecting Twins

Related - Youtube - How to Grow and Care for Sideburns

Wish me luck on my trip to Mexico City tomorrow! I think it's going to be fun!!!